The Story of Jim
I met Jim on December 27, 1991. It was at a teenager retreat with a religious theme at a very quaint stone church. He was quiet, adorable and smelled amazing.…
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April 26, 2025
Understanding the Collapse
I've been running a spiritual marathon. 20 years of emotional neglect and emotional abuse from my family. 23 years of emotional neglect, emotional abuse, control, sexual abuse and covert narcissistic…
April 26, 2025
I’m Taking My Cog and Going Home
Journal entry 4.23.25 This is going to be a very very long rant. And most of you will roll your eyes at it, a few of you will understand... but…
April 23, 2025
Menopause Changed Me
Well, I'm not in full menopause but the peri one. I don't know that much about it, frankly. But I do know, right around the time I turned 40, things…
April 22, 2025
JUST LEAVE
I've beat myself up for years... why did my marriage fail? What was my part in it? We weren't compatible. We never communicated. We did not have any emotional closeness.…
April 22, 2025
Being Awake Sucks
Days like today I miss the anxiety-ridden, codependent, insecure, asleep version of myself. I was too busy chasing dopamine, approval and love to even be aware of anything else. Pure…
April 20, 2025
Satellite of Love
I just found out that Golden Retrievers are the most sensitive dog breed. They have more emotional intelligence than any other breed. That's why they are usually hospital volunteer dogs…
April 19, 2025
La Cage Aux Corps
My Autonomy Threatened Him Most. His goal was to keep me stuck. He was depressed because I would't sleep with him. He was depressed because my body was no longer…
April 18, 2025
Real is so Sexy…
When you're awake enough to see it. So I'm considering dating, the vehicle of said arrangement is yet to be determined. Some days it sounds horrid, daunting, scary, life threatening…
April 17, 2025
Not Being Heard
Not being heard is my absolute BIGGEST trigger. To feel ignored or someone is hand wavy about my intensity or desire to convey something is agony. It makes me feel…
April 16, 2025